Welcome to “Java For Life.” I am your online barista, Pastor Tae. Allow me to fix you a devotional drink about the Christian life. Today’s cup is about a real curse that is cast upon the relationship between a man and a woman! Yes, you read that right. There is a real curse.
Simply put, there is a real spiritual curse that works against the health of a relationship. And this curse will be evident when a man and woman decide to have a serious relationship. Now, it may not be evident during the dating period, because that period of time is a bit artificial as both sides work overtime to put their best foot forward and behave themselves! But, as the relationship settles and becomes more serious and even leads to marriage, the curse will become very clear.
Now, this curse might not be what you are thinking. It’s not just a personality conflict or gender conflict or Murphy’s law. Even though those things can happen, this curse is real, because God is the one who issued it. Yes, God actually decreed that all serious guy-girl relationships will have serious conflicts.
Now to understand this curse, you have to go back to the original garden when Adam and the woman (she wasn’t given a name until after the curse) sinned against God. God, in His holy judgment, responded by declaring a long list of curses to fall down upon mankind and the world. And in Genesis 3:16 God decreed that a relationship tension would arise when He said, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Now some think this declaration is a good thing. They think the “desire” is automatically a good desire and that the man’s ruling is also a good response. But, there is nothing good about this verse! Remember that this verse is part of a long list of curses. So, it can’t be a good thing. In fact, this “desire” is the same word used in Genesis 4:7 where sin is described as wild animal having a very bad “desire” to control Cain.
The point is that this desire is evil. It is the sinful desire to control someone. And so, just as sin (4:7) has the evil desire to control Cain, the woman (3:16) will now have an evil desire to control the man! This is the curse.
He will rule – but not in a good way!
But the curse hits the other gender as well. The man responds to the woman’s sinful desire to control him by lording over her. And so, the cursed verse says, “He will rule over you.” This rule has nothing to do with the biblical command for the man to be a spiritual leader. That would be a godly rule that humbly serves the woman and brings out the very best in her. But this cursed response from the man is just as evil and destructive as the woman’s bad intent to control him.
And so, history has shown the curse in action as women in general try to control and manipulate their man. And the man in response is just as guilty in trying to dominate the woman. Such evidence abounds in serious dating relationships, engagements, and of course, the marriage! The married couple is bound by holy matrimony but chained by unholy desires.
If you’re meeting in a group, you can pause to share examples of gender conflict, relationship breakdown, and the sinful patterns of female-control and male-domination. Now, it could be reversed where the woman is more domineering and the man is more controlling. Either way, it’s a curse. Share your experiences in dating, engagement, and marriage.
Yes, the curse is real. But just as real is the grace of God. Remember that Jesus Christ died to save you from the penalty of sin and release you from the power of sin. So, there’s hope. By God’s grace and strength, you can work hard and overcome the curse. In short, this curse must not be the final statement in your relationship. You must work against it and pray against it.
So, when you see evidences of the curse, don’t be surprised. Instead, be pleasantly surprised by the grace of God that is greater than the sins in your relationships.
Until next time, remember that overcoming the curse is part of the greater purpose for your life.